Frictionless
no problem
Beyond the Superbowl lovefest and the annual February fourteenth ritual, we can now return to the comfort of ordinary life.
I do respect the sentiment of Benito’s words…
Dance without fear. Love without Fear (Bad Bunny)
We are living in fearful times. How should a person be? My ordinary life allows for plenty of time to ponder the shape of the world, as it is. Watching from afar the messiness of human relationships, crime, politics—and other horrors—can be quite engaging. Leaning toward the ease of a frictionless experience seems to mark this moment.
But…friction is what makes us human.
Author Priya Parker recently spoke with Ezra Klein on his podcast about the current trend to optimize our lives by eliminating friction. She offers ideas to expand our humanity and connections by hosting potluck dinners. Take away all the ego and fuss that often make entertaining or growing community feel like too much trouble. Keep it simple. No need to clean the house.
The idea of personal boundaries was an inside psychology notion not too long ago, but this conversation has entered the public arena.
Good advice, right? While knowing oneself enough to be able to say NO is an important skill, Priya Parker points to therapy culture as contributing an excuse to separate rather than repair. The boundary revolution seems to turn us away from shared life to a singular one.
I am reminded of the no contact trend—estrangement from parent, child, other family or friend.
Another path to moderating friction, is the commitment to a solitary life. I can appreciate this, as someone who has lived alone much of my adult life, but I recently saw an earnest post on social media from a 38-year-old who was asking for advice to plan for solitary aging. I suggest holding off at least ten years before installing the shower bar or tossing your throw rugs.
Drawing from philosopher Martin Buber’s concept of I and Thou, Priya Parker suggests a dance between we and I.
Now that artificial intelligence is a main driver of our economy, plenty of ordinary people are cultivating engagement with chatbots who are trained to encourage, support and offer little or no friction. A.I. has intervened with human creativity in ways that are altering culture. Since the start of this year, we seem to be bombarded with so many unbelievable clips and memes—A.I. Slop.
A sense of disconnect grows as standards for excellence and good taste are willfully rejected and a blind acceptance of cheap (frictionless) content becomes the norm.
According to author and culture commentator, Meghan Daum…
There is no better. There is just more.
But…
Art requires nuance (specificity).
Mystery is not secretiveness—it is selectivity.
The feeling I most identify with now is suspension.
I have a good life—comfortable, though not abundant.
Yet, what is coming?
What can be relied upon?
Artists always have something to do and making art is self-imposed friction. It is a privilege to selectively consume literature and media, make analog art. I appreciate having that luxury now, knowing the future may not offer so much opportunity.
Author / Podcaster, Scott Galloway sums up many of the ideas I have floated here…
I am deeply concerned about a world where connections are forged without friction, as we’re seeing resilience muscles atrophy, especially among young people. Recognizing the friction in our politics isn’t an invitation to opt for the path of least resistance. It teaches us that saving democracy requires the same things that build lasting relationships—showing up, enduring discomfort and wielding the power we actually have rather than waiting for someone else to fix our problem. Finally, action absorbs anxiety.
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Action absorbs anxiety...truth!